AN APPLICATION OF I CORINTHIANS 13 FOR THE CONTEMPORARY WORLD.In my early days of Christian service, I was a Minister to Youth.Many times I was asked to counsel young people about their "romantic" involvements, sometimes in the roll of
pre-marital counselor.
Most often the girl in the situation wanted to know if the guy really loved her.
I used a standardized
psychological test to help them with some basic understanding of interpersonal relationships, since few of them were enthusiastic enough about their Christian "faith" to try to find out what the Word of God had to say.
Once we finished the test, however, we would go straight to the best definition of love found anywhere in the universe, I Corinthians 13.
Here is its text:
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.After establishing the importance of love in verses 1-3, we would get to the definition, the most complete, comprehensive definition there is.
By the time we finished, one or the other or both of the parties knew whether they were "in love" God's way.
I used the passages as a test as follows:
Verse 4.
"Love is patient, Love is kind It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."I would ask the girl, "Is he patient with you in all situations? Is he kind to you no matter what?"
The guy in the relationship would be asked the same question.
If each or either answered, "No," I would tell them they could not possibly love one another. If, on the other hand, the answer was, "Yes," I would tell them they
might be in love and I would agree to go further with them.
"Is either of you envious of the other? Do you boast more about yourself than about the other one? Is either of you more proud of yourself than of your "partner?" would be the next question. "If so, you are not in love."
We would move to verse 5. "
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."This one is a little tougher.
Among teenagers and young adults, rudeness, self-
centeredness and anger are almost a given.
But those three things ruin a marriage more quickly than anything else.
I would explain that God teaches us to be polite to one another, even when it is not easy to do so.
Then I would ask, "Have either of you used the phrase, 'If you loved me, you would...'?"
"That is conditional love, and has no place in a Christian relationship."
I would show them that thinking of others first is very important
["Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3,
NIV)], and that anger is to be set aside [Ephesians 4:26
"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:..."I would ask, "Do either of you seek your own way first or get
angry with the other one, allowing your anger to fester?"
I would explain that anger
always has its roots in one not getting his/her own way and that if this condition exists, the relationship is not one of love.
Carrying a grudge, remembering past wrongs is also indicative that there is a problem...on the part of the one carrying the grudge.
In verse 6 we would read,
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."Pure evil was not too often an issue, but failing to be truthful often was.
I would explain to them that love demands honesty. Not the hurtful kind, or the kind that runs around disguised as a compliment, like, "You're not nearly as ugly as everybody says you are."
The kind of honesty needed in a love relationship is the kind in which one does not hide things from the other.
Verse 7 tell us about love:
"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."I explained that each person in a love relationship must look out for the other, trust the other, and always have a positive attitude toward the future, being careful to preserve the relationship, no matter what.
Verse 8:
"Love never fails."Love just keeps on keeping on, as the marriage vow says, "...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health...'til death do us part" (each of which is guaranteed).
"The marriage kind of love is forever," I would explain. It is a commitment and a contract which is entered into in the presence of and with Almighty God Himself.
The world's philosophy does not conform to that viewpoint. It tells us that if we get tired of the marriage, stressed in it, "fall out of love," or just want new horizons, we can always get a divorce.
The rest of the passage tell us that other things of the earth will pass, but mature love is the greatest thing God ever invented.
8. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
From I
Corinthians 13 we learn that love is not an emotion, although emotions result from true love, but is a decision to behave a certain way toward the other person, regardless of the circumstance.
Then God demonstrated how far we are to take that love.
As Romans 5:8 says, "But God
commendeth his love towards us, in that
while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."